You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
