I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
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If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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