Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
