Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
