Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
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