It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
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