im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
