If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
