I hate all girls vehemently.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
