Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
