i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
