Tell her she can't have a vagina
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
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