Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
