Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I want to be your penis for a week.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
