I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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