all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
