There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
