Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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