my mouth tastes like poor choices
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
