I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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