i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
