marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
My liver just had a heart attack.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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