Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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