dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
