I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
