I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
