My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
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You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
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I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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