Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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