The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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