i think i have herpe
just one?
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize
