Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
