Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
there's paper in my vomit.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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