I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
i just made my gag reflex go away.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
