My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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