I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
