Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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