We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
