Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Randomize
