he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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