dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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