my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
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