i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
