The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
