can u get pink eye on your cock?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
