You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
