Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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