Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Randomize
