Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Actions speak louder than pants.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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