Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
