His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
farters have to be the big spoon...
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
