Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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