Non-Jews are for practice
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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