Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
