I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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