Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
