dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
