Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.