what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
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