i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
