It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
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First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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