I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.