Texts From Last Night

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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.

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  (303): I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants. http://tfl.nu/0mqu
  Replies (10) Good night (623) Bad night (3542)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...

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  (402): Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important... http://tfl.nu/xkl9
  Replies (16) Good night (1017) Bad night (1860)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!

  (1-512): View more from Texas

  well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number

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  (512): Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not! (1-512): well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number http://tfl.nu/3fc4
  Replies (21) Good night (701) Bad night (3216)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.

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  (501): All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware. http://tfl.nu/9chk
  Replies (5) Good night (4435) Bad night (779)
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  (585): View more from New York

  So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.

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  (585): So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag. http://tfl.nu/s1z9
  Replies (17) Good night (9115) Bad night (768)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet

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  (914): my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet http://tfl.nu/lao3
  Replies (55) Good night (2656) Bad night (4887)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations

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  (216): Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations http://tfl.nu/f8qq
  Replies (18) Good night (5343) Bad night (679)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much

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  (609): We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much http://tfl.nu/4hfy
  Replies (17) Good night (1419) Bad night (3626)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.

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  (337): Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning. http://tfl.nu/g9g5
  Replies (19) Good night (9073) Bad night (1195)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"

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  (508): I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money" http://tfl.nu/engr
  Replies (14) Good night (6333) Bad night (1073)
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  (315): View more from New York

  yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...

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  (315): yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms... http://tfl.nu/res2
  Replies (13) Good night (1962) Bad night (706)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?

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  (919): What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room? http://tfl.nu/ulxd
  Replies (4) Good night (1232) Bad night (408)
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  (619): View more from California

  there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper

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  (619): there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper http://tfl.nu/29cl
  Replies (25) Good night (656) Bad night (818)
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  (325): View more from Texas

  Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.

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  (325): Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul. http://tfl.nu/ljpv
  Replies (8) Good night (1351) Bad night (466)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?

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  (407): How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night? http://tfl.nu/3g7c
  Replies (8) Good night (514) Bad night (364)

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