Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
