When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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