I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
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Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
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I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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